Not to many people know that as a child I was really tiny. I am not saying that I'm a huge super tall person but I am 5'6 one of the tallest people in my house. (my dad says hes taller but we are the same size). My parents and grandparents like to tell people about how much they used to pray for me to grow. Like really? Is it so bad to be short? I guess to them it was. I was also a very late bloomer. My older sister and I are only a year and a half apart my mother loved to dress us up the same like twins for years. Neon spandex shorts and side pony tale oh yeah child of the eighties! Now my sister had a growth spur and she passed me in height got all cute and skinny while I still looked like an umpa lumpa. No lie. Hence all the praying? The summer between 8th grade and 9th grade all I remember doing was sleeping and eating cereal all day long. That is also the time I had my growth spur. I came back to school taller then my 5'2 older sister and sporting the very visible "girls".Now why am I having this flash back to puberty? Good question. I have found my self going through another growth spurt.
This Growth isn't not physically. I really don't want to be taller. All my friends are short so its weird. But in my personal life and spiritual life I have been doing a lot of growing. Now unlike physical growth, these past few years I have been fighting the growth. Now that I have stopped fighting it I hoped that the "pain" it comes with would go away. But then I realized that with growth their is pain. I felt out of place after my sister bloomed she was super pretty and I felt ugly with my nappy curly hair. I felt as if everyone else was growing up and I was being left behind. I felt alone. That was my pain. Not necessarily physical pain like ouch my legs hurt but I felt out of place.
As a 27 year old adult I am once again feeling pain. But I know that with the pain I am growing. Its needed. I've been learning to really let God lead my life. Its been tough. I have had a lot of tough choices to make and I really had to put on my Big Girl Pants this year. I know you would think that by my age I would have done that a long time ago. I've been avoiding it, living in Never land (that's another blog for another day). I am excepting this growth and all that comes with it even if that means its going to hurt and I will cry like a baby (which I have already). So Growth + Pain = Beauty. That's the way I see it.
Take a moment and do some stretches, you don't want to pull a muscle.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Me,myself and I?
I just found some things out about myself. I am a fighter, a helper, a good friend who goes above and beyond, and very stubborn person. These all sound like great things right? Well they can be and they can also be a problem. WHAT? How so? Let me explain....
I recently had a pair of eye glasses that broke a while back. I tried everything to keep these old glasses together. They were super glued a hundred times over and even had a nail placed to keep them together. My eyesight is not that terrible I can still see and drive fine but I love my glasses. They are a part of me. I love to try to fix things and find other uses for items that should just be tossed. I blame my mother, she loves to save things and say "I can always make something else out of it." Bless her lovely heart but it has made me in to a saver of all things trash. lol It turns out I maintain this philosophy in all aspects of my life, with friends, relationships and even work. Now the issue with this is I spend and even waist(see last blog on time) time trying to fix old and broken things even when they are beyond repair. I spend too much trying to maintain and help people who refuse to be helped or want change. I give so much of myself and don't even realize it.
Back to my glasses, I finally get my eyes checked and I am thinking my eyes have gotten worse. I have been finding it hard to focus with my old glued glasses, having lots of migraines and hurting eyes. I'm thinking its because with age my eyes are getting worse. So to my amazement the doctor tells me that its not my eyes that have gotten worse BUT that my glasses were the wrong perception!!! Say what??? Ya that was my response. I was given a stronger prescription then I needed. It was not my eyes that were getting worse. It was not me who was bad or off. The connection here is that while I'm trying to help items or people I get the strange idea that its my fault why I can't help. But just like I was told it was not MY fault at all with the glasses but an actual problem with the glasses its self, that's how it is in real life. The people who I try to help and "rescue" cant be helped not because there is an issue with me, not because I'm not smart enough, not because I don't "understand" but because the problem is with them. They don't want the help or just are not ready to receive the help. I have given all of myself for friends and others and been left hurt wondering what could I have done differently? Whats wrong with me that I couldn't help? Did I not try hard enough? Why did I fail? By me refusing to not give up and be that super understanding loving person who sees the good in them, I have just hurt myself more. All we can do in these circumstances is bring it to God and let him handle it. I can not be the problem solver, I need to know when to let God do the fighting instead of me. Its not me Failing...
The Lesson learned here is that no matter how hard we try, how hard we try to pull or help someone if they are not ready to receive the help it does no good. We are selves get hurt and overwhelmed and even dragged down with them and their problems instead of us helping them. I think it is all about timing. In Gods time things are done right. We can not be "Time Lords", we got to leave that to the Doctor (for my doctor who fans).
I now know my LIMITS. Do you know yours?
I am a rescuer. I am helper.
Take a moment and answer this: I am a.....
I recently had a pair of eye glasses that broke a while back. I tried everything to keep these old glasses together. They were super glued a hundred times over and even had a nail placed to keep them together. My eyesight is not that terrible I can still see and drive fine but I love my glasses. They are a part of me. I love to try to fix things and find other uses for items that should just be tossed. I blame my mother, she loves to save things and say "I can always make something else out of it." Bless her lovely heart but it has made me in to a saver of all things trash. lol It turns out I maintain this philosophy in all aspects of my life, with friends, relationships and even work. Now the issue with this is I spend and even waist(see last blog on time) time trying to fix old and broken things even when they are beyond repair. I spend too much trying to maintain and help people who refuse to be helped or want change. I give so much of myself and don't even realize it.
Back to my glasses, I finally get my eyes checked and I am thinking my eyes have gotten worse. I have been finding it hard to focus with my old glued glasses, having lots of migraines and hurting eyes. I'm thinking its because with age my eyes are getting worse. So to my amazement the doctor tells me that its not my eyes that have gotten worse BUT that my glasses were the wrong perception!!! Say what??? Ya that was my response. I was given a stronger prescription then I needed. It was not my eyes that were getting worse. It was not me who was bad or off. The connection here is that while I'm trying to help items or people I get the strange idea that its my fault why I can't help. But just like I was told it was not MY fault at all with the glasses but an actual problem with the glasses its self, that's how it is in real life. The people who I try to help and "rescue" cant be helped not because there is an issue with me, not because I'm not smart enough, not because I don't "understand" but because the problem is with them. They don't want the help or just are not ready to receive the help. I have given all of myself for friends and others and been left hurt wondering what could I have done differently? Whats wrong with me that I couldn't help? Did I not try hard enough? Why did I fail? By me refusing to not give up and be that super understanding loving person who sees the good in them, I have just hurt myself more. All we can do in these circumstances is bring it to God and let him handle it. I can not be the problem solver, I need to know when to let God do the fighting instead of me. Its not me Failing...
The Lesson learned here is that no matter how hard we try, how hard we try to pull or help someone if they are not ready to receive the help it does no good. We are selves get hurt and overwhelmed and even dragged down with them and their problems instead of us helping them. I think it is all about timing. In Gods time things are done right. We can not be "Time Lords", we got to leave that to the Doctor (for my doctor who fans).
I now know my LIMITS. Do you know yours?
I am a rescuer. I am helper.
Take a moment and answer this: I am a.....
Friday, February 22, 2013
Time
Time:
It's about time I post something here! It has been over 7 months since I last updated. Time is such a beautiful ugly topic. Time is fleeting...time is of the essence... and it goes ever on! What does Time me to you? Is it something we let rule our lives? Do we live by the clock? Every move set and executed by those two little hands? Who am I kidding no one uses those clocks anymore its all digital. But my question is who do we let time handle us?
Some of us have no concept of time at all (me included). I have a horrible tendency to be late. My father always said that I would even be late to my own funeral, which I always said that at least that time it wont be MY fault. Two extremes. How do we find the balance between not being ruled by the clock and not screwing the clock. Within the last few weeks I have made a decision to not be running late all the time. Have I succeeded Well...not really, but I have been making changes which have been helping. How can we all make changes in our lives so we are in the balance with time?
Time can be such a beautiful thing. My adorable little nephew has been a great joy in my life. I have loved seeing him grow within the last few months. He is trying to crawl which is adorable (aww) But also time can be ugly. Waisted time can be ugly. Sometimes we don't even realize where all the darn time has gone. I know I haven't Time is fleeting...Hold onto it, cherish it, and love it. I have found my self multiple times wishing that i could just fast forward and skip the ugly hard parts of time. But what I have realized through many hard and ugly parts is that those are the beautiful times also. Their is growth. I am reminded of a line from a song: Beauty from Tears. So what to take away from this, well we all need to find a balance in our lives it may not be with time for some people but extremes can be fun but their is life in a balance.
Take a moment and check the time.
It's about time I post something here! It has been over 7 months since I last updated. Time is such a beautiful ugly topic. Time is fleeting...time is of the essence... and it goes ever on! What does Time me to you? Is it something we let rule our lives? Do we live by the clock? Every move set and executed by those two little hands? Who am I kidding no one uses those clocks anymore its all digital. But my question is who do we let time handle us?
Some of us have no concept of time at all (me included). I have a horrible tendency to be late. My father always said that I would even be late to my own funeral, which I always said that at least that time it wont be MY fault. Two extremes. How do we find the balance between not being ruled by the clock and not screwing the clock. Within the last few weeks I have made a decision to not be running late all the time. Have I succeeded Well...not really, but I have been making changes which have been helping. How can we all make changes in our lives so we are in the balance with time?
Time can be such a beautiful thing. My adorable little nephew has been a great joy in my life. I have loved seeing him grow within the last few months. He is trying to crawl which is adorable (aww) But also time can be ugly. Waisted time can be ugly. Sometimes we don't even realize where all the darn time has gone. I know I haven't Time is fleeting...Hold onto it, cherish it, and love it. I have found my self multiple times wishing that i could just fast forward and skip the ugly hard parts of time. But what I have realized through many hard and ugly parts is that those are the beautiful times also. Their is growth. I am reminded of a line from a song: Beauty from Tears. So what to take away from this, well we all need to find a balance in our lives it may not be with time for some people but extremes can be fun but their is life in a balance.
Take a moment and check the time.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Bad Reception
Have you ever wondered "Can I hear God when hes calling?" I know I have asked myself this very question numerous times. I remember a time growing up when I was told to listen for God, and I actually waited around for him to verbally speak to me. Now how many have you have ever done that. Don't be shy, go ahead and raise your hand. hehehe. I think quite a few of us have been their. Now did I ever verbally hear God tell me directions? Not really.
How many different ways are their that God can communicate with us. Well their are quite a few, but here's the thing you just got to listen. How many times have I asked why doesn't God just tell me what he wants me to do!? Now how many of those times did God try to speak to me and I just wan st listening. woooooooo Ya a lot. Sometimes we get so busy with our lives and our thoughts that we just push him out. There has but a lot going on in my personal life and family, weddings, babies, work and so much more. But have I stopped to listen? I can say Ive stopped to complain. hehehe I can say that Ive heard the Lord trying to get my attention in many ways. Lately hes really been speaking through the preachings. I mean who's to say he wasn't before but i just wasn't listening.
We expect a very loud and personal no or yes when it comes to dealing with God but we don't listen to the stillness for him.The Lord has been working in my life and trying to get my attention but i haven't been paying him any mind. Going to and fro so busy that i wouldn't even be bothered if summer turned to fall sooner then later. Now as i sit and be still i know that He has been calling and i haven't been answering.
I go off to Missionettes camp in a bout a week and I know i need to be prepared. How can i expect my girls to be ready to receive from God and say they are so cold and don't care if I'm the same way. Life is funny. I know that to lead you need to lead by example and direction. who is gonna follow the crazy one who doesn't know whats up from down? ya no one. I want my girls to listen. I want them to hear what Christ has for them. I want them to experience him like never before. I want them to be on fire for him! BUT for all of that i must do it first. I must listen, I must experience (daily), I must be on fire for God first!
Listening is a big part of life. We need to hear directions when they are given. We need to listen when others need us to care. We need to listen if we want to bring change. Ya listening is very important. We cant grow spiritually if we don't listen for God.
I encourage you to take a moment and Listen...
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Breath..
Why does it feel like sometimes its easy to forget to breath? Has that ever happened to you? Youve cought yourself not breathing...either in antisipation or dread. Breath. Yes its not as simple as that. Sometimes we need to be reminded to BREATH. Its gonna be ok. Just breath. Why does it feel hard sometimes to actually get air into our lungs? In the actual moment the last thing on our mind is getting the much needed oxygen to our lungs. Our thoughts are everywhere but on breathing. Is this really happening? Breath. Whoever said its as easy as "breathing" never really tried too. A moment that takes our breath away, that fills us with love instead of air. Breath. That second where you are hanging off the edge of your seat biting your nail holding your breath...waiting. Just breath. Is it really as simple as that? Waiting to hear the news, to nervous to move to think to breath. Waiting. All those moments, fantastic or nerve racking, take your breath a way and time seems to stand still until you...breath.
For me the sigh afterwards can be so freeing. When our mind clicks back on and we actually remember to Breath, the moment after is... Well what is it? It can be many things. Empowering, freeing, relieving, joyous, and the list goes on. But for me the sigh after the breath is the best. Its literally the sign that its going to be okay. Well partly because I remembered to breath. But also because now time can go own, for whatever fantastically awkward reason. So folks no matter what moment you find yourself in always remember to take a moment to breath and look at the stars. Maybe in that order.
For me the sigh afterwards can be so freeing. When our mind clicks back on and we actually remember to Breath, the moment after is... Well what is it? It can be many things. Empowering, freeing, relieving, joyous, and the list goes on. But for me the sigh after the breath is the best. Its literally the sign that its going to be okay. Well partly because I remembered to breath. But also because now time can go own, for whatever fantastically awkward reason. So folks no matter what moment you find yourself in always remember to take a moment to breath and look at the stars. Maybe in that order.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Sooooo....
Well I have been meaning to post stuff on here but havent done so because I was having trouble uploading the pictures that I wanted to use to go along with my post. But I guess I will have to do it later.
I have been working on a few crafts lately :) one is doing different fun designs on my nails! I will definitely post pictures later! My younger sister got me a little set of nail polish tools...ya cool! so I have been having fun with that! Another one of the fun little crafts I'm working on is decorating my keys.I saw it on the lovely Pintrest website! I use glitter nail polish to decorate the top of the key. it really helps in telling them apart..well if you use different colors. I will post that picture later also.
I went on a trip this weekend, the beginning of many for this year (so I hope). My plan this year is to go to all 21 missions in California! Ya I know right sounds fun! Well on Saturday I went to three of missions. Very lovely and beautiful places. One of the missions sadly might be closing. They are holding a fundraiser to raise money so they can save the chapel from being closed down. here is the link to the mission http://www.sanluisrey.org/ please please take some time and go look at the page and see if you can help. it would be a shame to lose a piece of our states history. I have tons of pictures from my trip to the three mission which i will for sure upload later for all to see.
For now that all I have to say....actually why do adults have to act like children? And not in the fun cute sense but in the "that kid needs to get punished for that terrible behavior". Just a little food for thought....
dont forget to take a moment and enjoy a lollipop :)
I have been working on a few crafts lately :) one is doing different fun designs on my nails! I will definitely post pictures later! My younger sister got me a little set of nail polish tools...ya cool! so I have been having fun with that! Another one of the fun little crafts I'm working on is decorating my keys.I saw it on the lovely Pintrest website! I use glitter nail polish to decorate the top of the key. it really helps in telling them apart..well if you use different colors. I will post that picture later also.
I went on a trip this weekend, the beginning of many for this year (so I hope). My plan this year is to go to all 21 missions in California! Ya I know right sounds fun! Well on Saturday I went to three of missions. Very lovely and beautiful places. One of the missions sadly might be closing. They are holding a fundraiser to raise money so they can save the chapel from being closed down. here is the link to the mission http://www.sanluisrey.org/ please please take some time and go look at the page and see if you can help. it would be a shame to lose a piece of our states history. I have tons of pictures from my trip to the three mission which i will for sure upload later for all to see.
For now that all I have to say....actually why do adults have to act like children? And not in the fun cute sense but in the "that kid needs to get punished for that terrible behavior". Just a little food for thought....
dont forget to take a moment and enjoy a lollipop :)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Take a moment to...
So Ive been wanting to start a blog for a while now. About what? Not to sure yet. I guess a little of everything. I want to have a place besides facebook where I can post things...and upload pictures...maybe vent a little. Or share something new that I learned :) I'm pretty excited about it! Cant wait till i have actual stuff to post about! hehehe Well here is to taking a moment to enjoy the laughs :)
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